Tuesday, December 22, 2009

pax or paxil

i have purposely been avoiding the topic of chicky, the wifezilla, my daughter-in-law. i am trying to keep the peace. the kids are coming home from the visitation with their father. depending on the weather, they should be here wednesday. i am invited to xmas breakfast at their house. i am making hashbrown casserole.

for the entire family, i bought each of the children a few gifts, then i bought chicky a vera bradley bag and badge lanyard (this was purchased before i realized what a cunt she is). my son has a cookbook and NOTHING ELSE! i want to get him a nice wallet and hide some cash in it. this would require a trip to marshall's.

that may not happen.

i will be fake smiley cheery in her face.

i hope i get a nice gift for being so good!

t-24 hours

tomorrow my mother is coming over with my sister, her husband, one of my nieces and my great-niece. we are going to do a gift exchange. yes, i bought a few snugglies and starbucks bags of coffee. i scaled christmas down, but i am still buying for the kids.
i am making dinner- diner sliders, kinda like the little square burgers from krystal or white castle. i even have the tiny buns. i can make 12 in each pan and i think 24 will feed all of us. i am also making chocolate shakes and cheesy tatertots. i have coke, dr. pepper, diet coke and lemonade. if you can't find something to drink, just suck it and drink water.

my niece is bringing a lemon pie. i can't wait! she is a great cook and i am proud of her. when she was little, we would give her a bowl of water and a tiny egg beater. she would beat the water to death, then i would measure it out and add it as needed to whatever we were making, she was always so proud of her contribution.
she was also invaluable when making chinese dumplings. she was a "good dumple maker" in her own words. she was a whiz at folding them and painting the seams shut with water, and only 4 year sold.

she plans on going to medical school when she graduates next year. she's turning out real good.

so i should be cleaning and premaking the sliders. i will post the recipe tomorrow. it's not really a recipe, it's more of a list of techniques.

i still have christmas to wrap! lots of items from the dot shop (dollar aisle at target) are still unadorned.

i also have to bake the 2 cherry pies for thursday. i am going to two "old lady dinners" and i promised each of them a cherry pie. i use two kinds of cherries, one sweet and one tart, so they balance each other out. i take a lot of time and make a really elaborate crust for the top. it doesn't cost more and it makes the pies extra special.

but it takes time, which i am running short on right now.

have a warm day! stay away from the mall!

Monday, December 21, 2009

day late, dollar short

i have finished the christmas shopping! gifts, food, drink, all!

except for the stuff to make hasbrown casserole for DIL's xmas morning breakfast.

it wasn't intentional.

i promise.

so i get to go to the store- not walmart- after the party i am attending tonight.

go, me!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

lazy sunday

today i slept until 1:00, played on the computer and now i am making the dreaded trip to wal-mart.

yep, wal-mart, the week before christmas.

my family is coming over for a christmas dinner and this is the only chance i'll have the truck to get the groceries i need. my car needs a new power steering pump, so we are a 1 vehicle family for the moment.

i don't look forward to fighting the crowds. i may even use self-checkout to save time. i hate self-checkout, because i don't get a check from wal-mart and i don' t need to do their work. i may just get a crip cart, do my shopping and wait in the longest line there while i read the magazines.

oh fuck, the handicapped parking placard is not in the truck. so i get to park in east mongolia and walk to the store.

okay, i'm getting my butt in gear now.

watch out, wal-mart!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

rehab...no, no, no

i just realized that although i am not a drug addict or junkie, my last few posts have been about drugs.

i'm taking up knitting, so no one gets the wrong idea.

or maybe cross stitch. this might get my message across.

six degrees of separation

remember the game "six degrees of kevin bacon"? i used to play it on line, before everything was cyber sex. i was good at it and i had a secret: i have a connection (or "degree") that gives me access to any movie star you could want to relate to. but who he is. that is my secret!

somehow our cocaine addled friend has managed to put us on the radar with the local police by coming to our house when he was too fucked up to drive home from his dealer's house. they followed him to our house, got his plate number, then i got a nice leisurely visit out at the mailbox by the narcotics squad asking me about our connection to the drug dealer- there is NONE!

so now i have a cell phone number to one of the narcotics agents. to use 24/7.

our "friend" is going to have to stay away, because he came by here early last night, when i was gone to dinner. then he went to the drug dealer's house. i don't like him making us a link in his horrible chain.

i have never had to tell a friend to stay away. i tried to be subtle tonight on the telephone but i don't think i got the point across.

is there a subtle, nice way to tell someone you care about to buzz off, when you really care about them but they are acting all doochy and causing you trouble?

did the kevin bacon refernce make you hungry? i am having bacon for breakfast! maybe a pound!

Saturday, December 5, 2009


where are the gosselins?